"A man living alone starts to live like a hog". So said Humphrey Bogart to Katherine Hepburn in a classic moment from The African Queen.

It's commonly accepted that men are more prone to accept living in disorder than women. Indeed a common inhibitor to advancement for many housewives is that their husbands are not "on board" to de-clutter, often bitterly refusing to accept "outside" help. It is at the heart of many arguments and much tension in both a home and a marriage.

The older a man becomes the more jealously he guards his 'personal' time and space. This can be regarded as intransigence or un-willingness in being told what to do. "I'll get to it" is the most common of phrases. But as the saying goes, "A Woman's work is never done and a Man's work is never done either."

It is something women tell me time and time again, sometimes tearfully. If only they had a few ways to motivate the guys or allow them to have an organizer give her a hand. Yes I know this riles many guys. So be it.

Well ladies most males of the species are motivated by two things: gain and avoidance. Without either of those two motivations revving their engines men are more likely to turn to enjoying downtime (TV, food, sleep, golf) to conserve energy and grab a rare moment's peace from a world demanding too much of them.

So if you want him to de-clutter elbow to elbow with you give him one of those two motivations. Nothing gets a guy to put out the garbage faster than the thought of avoiding an argument about it or that another guy is coming over to do it for you. Telling him something makes sense to do is not a motivating enough factor to make him drop the golf clubs or remote.

One good thought to keep in mind is that a man's ego is sometimes a delicate thing to be aware of. Insult can happen unintentionally and unexpectedly at any time. Often guys who have completed numerous projects such as extensive renovations will feel as though they are being unappreciated and their past efforts negated by small requests to de-clutter "that messy" workshop. Couch your requests in different terms as perhaps a project of yours needs help with (a positive thing) as opposed to it being a "problem" he has created (a negative thing) - something which has hurt you in some way and which is something 'he' has to attend to "right now". Remember guys don't like to be told what to do - anytime.

Guys like to solve small problems. Make your requests small. Don't say - "the garage needs de-cluttering." Instead break up the tasks and suggest you need help cleaning out half of one of the cupboards so you can put something of yours in there. Be positive about that small success. Don't go on right away to say, "Now that that's done…." Build up to the more complicated.

At work a man has peer pressure, boss pressure etc. He must perform or risk embarrassment. He is proactive in order to avoid something. On the gain side there is the competitive urge, the gain of pride and looking good in the eyes of others. And then there is the monetary gain to enable him to buy more stuff. But at home he is reactive - reacting to sudden demands on his time.

Use that to your advantage. Choose realistic carrots that appeal to him. Make it clear he suffers from clutter as much as you do. He can gain hours each day not looking for things in a last minute panic. He can look forward to fewer demands on his time at home and the perceived critique of his inability to organize. Remember small things bother guys more than big ones. He can sidestep having to pull out those strings of tri-color invectives born of frustration which can't be good for his heart. Offer him chunks of time when you'll leave him alone in return for 15 minutes of focused de-cluttering. Tell him how much money he'll save not re-buying what he already owns. Offer to toss one magazine of yours into the recycling bin for every one his. Suggest a communal, mutually maintained area for common use items such as screw drivers, notepaper or baskets for keys, change etc. There are a myriad of ways to get him motivated.

Speak his language. Sure it's a game but a game that needs to be played and one that works. Remember something to gain or something to avoid. You'll be amazed how well it works.

How can I say all this? Well, experience, observation of consistent behavior from hundreds of home visits and - well, I'm a guy.